Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Crap People Don't Tell You About Running: #2

Take a look outside today. The mercury's inching into the mid sixties, the sun's shining, the lilacs are ready to bust, and the sun's dancing along the water in that way that makes your inner 3-year-old believe that the ocean just might be where all the other stars nap when the sun starts shining.

Idyllic. Bucolic. Pastoral. Just a few of the words that leap to mind when spring has finally come to New England for good. A perfect day to loop my run along the beach, I thought. Unfortunately, the gnat-like winged demons that delight in dive-bombing anyone who gets within two feet of the seawall had similar thoughts.

For walkers, beach bugs are an annoyance that results in waving the pests every few minutes, but the situation's a little more dire for runners. Because as we bounce along, panting heavily with our mouths gaping open to catch our breath, the bugs see our uvulas as a swinging target double-dog-daring them to go for it, and go for it hard.

The second crappy thing people don't tell you about running is that chokijng down a bug is pretty much inevitatble. As is being laughed at when you stop dead in the throes of some seriously unladylike gagging and spitting.

Catherine Elcik is running her first marathon to raise money for a scholarship fund for Grub Street, Inc, and independent writing center in Boston, MA. Sponsor the run at www.firstgiving.com/runforgrub.


  1. Consider it sort of an initiation. Welcome to the club!

  2. When I used to run along the Charles, I got to know where the bugs hung out (under a few choice trees) and starting holding my breath on approach...

  3. Holding your breath?! What kind of cardiovascular superwoman were you, Jenn? I can barely breathe through my nose for three breaths.